Mr and Mrs Jones

Each Sunday, Mr and Mrs Jones go to their local church for a service, but recently, Mr Jones has been falling alseep and snoring throughout. So, after one particularly embarrassing day, Mrs Jones went to see the vicar.

Mrs Jones: Vicar, can you help me? My husband keeps falling asleep during your services and it’s really embarrassing.

Vicar: Okay, take this hat-pin and when I see him fall asleep, I’ll nod to you and you stick it in his leg.

So Mrs Jones thanks him, wakes her husband in the pews and they go home.
Next Sunday, ten minutes into his sermon, the vicar spots Mr Jones alseep. So he says,

Vicar: And who is our Saviour?
And he nods purposefully at her. So Mrs Jones stick the pin in his leg and he wakes up and shouts,

Mr Jones: Jesus!

Vicar: Yes, Jesus is our Saviour.

Five minutes later, Mr Jones falls asleep again, so the vicar spots this and says to the congregation,

Vicar: And who is our Forgiver?
And again he nods purposefully at Mrs Jones who sticks the pin in her husband’s leg, who shouts,

Mr Jones: God!

Vicar: Yes, God is our Forgiver.

So then, during his long service, the vicar begins to really get into what he’s saying, so he starts to nod accidentally. Therefore, Mr Jones is getting poked in the leg for no reason. Right at the end of the service, the vicar is really getting going and he says,

Vicar: And what did Eve say to Adam when she bore his 99th child?
And he accidentally nods, so Mrs Jones sticks the pin in her husband’s leg and he says,

Mr Jones: If you stick that in me one more time, I’ll turn it around and shove it up your arse!

Congregation: Amen!