Alternate meanings

S & M
Cindy and Sally meet at their 30th class reunion, and they hadn’t seen each other since graduation. They begin to talk and bring each other up to date. The conversation covers their husbands, their children, homes, etc. and finally gets around to their sex lives.

Cindy said, “It’s okay. We get it on every week or so but it’s no big adventure. How’s yours?”

Sally replied, “It’s just great, ever since we got into S & M.”

Cindy is aghast. “Really Sally! I never would have guessed that you would go for that sort of thing.”

“Oh, sure,” says Sally. “He Snores while I Masturbate.”

Wheelbarrow
After hearing a couple’s complaints that their intimate life wasn’t what it used to be, the sex counselor suggested that they vary their positions.

“For example,” he suggested, “you might try the wheel barrel. Lift her legs from behind and off you go.”

The eager husband was all for trying this new idea as soon as they got home.

“Well, okay,” the hesitant wife agreed, “but on two conditions - First, if it hurts, you will stop right away. And second,” she continued, “you have to promise we won’t go past my mother’s house.”

Rescue Squad
One evening, the rescue squad was called to the home of an elderly couple for an apparent heart attack the gentleman had. When the squad got there is was too late and the man had died.

While consoling the wife one of the rescuers noticed that the bed was a mess. He asked the lady what symptoms the man had suffered and if anything had precipitated the heart attack.

The lady replied, “Well, we were in the bed making love and he started moaning, groaning, thrashing about the bed, panting, and sweating. I thought he was coming, but I guess he was going